Youth Ministry Rethink Part II - A Question of Success

What is success in youth ministry? Is the successful youth program the one with the most kids in attendance? Is it the one with the flashiest show and best band? But what happens when they graduate? How do these ideas have a lasting effect on students? How can you tell if they do? I like Doug Fields' idea: Students growing on their own, when they graduate high school and can't find a church they like, they are equipped to start their own. (para-phrase) I think the most recent statistic is that 88% of students graduate from their faith when they hit college, that is not the definition of success to me. That means that if I graduate 100 students from my program that 88 of them will turn away from their faith. Sorry but that makes want to puke. If 88 students turn from their faith, what do the remaining 12 have in common? Smart money goes on genuine relationships with a spiritual mentor, parents, youth pastors, youth group volunteers... Here is where I believe most people get scared off and won't get involved in youth ministry: too much responsibility. "You're asking me to change a kids life!" WRONG. I am asking you to connect with two students and be an example to them. Don't just tell them how to be like Jesus, show them how to be like Jesus. It's not about a program or curriculum it's about living out your faith and taking some kids along for the ride. I believe that successful youth ministry will happen inside a church that doesn't have a youth program. It will happen when true discipleship is preached from the pulpit, lived out by the members, and demostrated for the next generation. When Christians decide to live their lives with a Biblical worldview they will know that this course of action is not a suggestion, it is a mandate. Does the term "As you are going make disciples." sound familiar to you? It should. Is it evident in your life? Is it evident in your church? It is the definition of success - If the members of our congregations are actively engaged in making disciples of the next generation we will see change, we will even see revival.

Youth Ministry Rethink Part I

I am compelled to do a complete ministry rethink. Not to rethink whether or not I should be in ministry (that one is clearly written out for me. see: the Bible) but How I do ministry.
Disclaimer: Please understand that I am not trying to be critical of any one person this is just a collection of my thoughts from experience.
The number one problem with youth ministry is not what most people think it is: youth. The number one problem with youth ministry is quite the opposite: adults or should I say lack thereof. What I don't understand is the lack of commitment on the part of the Church (notice the capitol "C") It seems to me that the conventional approach to youth ministry is flawed and ineffective. So let me describe to you my idea of conventional youth ministry just so you understand where I am coming from.
Conventional Youth Ministry
I define it as a simple equation: 1 youth pastor + a bunch of teenagers = youth ministry. According to this model all you have to do is get those elements in the same room for any amount of time and youth ministry occurs. What you really end up with is a roomful of disallusioned, bored and burned out people. There are too many problems involved with this model. Here is the short list:
Unrealistic expectations-
Generally speaking a youth pastor ends up being someone with too much education and not enough experience in ministry put into an impossible situation. What we expect him to produce is unrealistic and unfair to any one person.
Too many times I have been told "If you could just connect with my student* I know you could fix them. (*son, daughter, brother, sister, niece, nieghbor, you name it.) I'm sorry but God has not called me to "fix" people, in fact he hasn't called anyone to fix anybody else, only God can heal what is broken in these kids. All too often we expect this unwitting individual to reach out to unsaved kids, disciple the churched kids, provide an atmosphere that the church is comfortable with for the kids, be available at all hours for counsel, meetings and church suppers, services, don't forget preaching when the real pastor is out of town, the list goes on and on. Meanwhile this poor shmuck is alienated from his wife, which the church also expects to be fully committed to the ministry of the church, his kids if he has been so blessed and his extended family who are probably still mad because he moved away in the first place.
If anyone reading this knows me and knows my life, please don't take this as just another life's not fair rant. Even though this may sound familiar to you I bet it sounds really familiar to the poor guy across the country who has gone through this same ringer in youth ministry.
Ok well maybe unrealistic expectations IS the short list. I wonder how many "one-man show" youth ministries there are out there. How many of these poor guys are on the edge of burnout? Is it responsible for the Church to allow our ministers to live like this?
Hopefully by now you are asking the question in your mind "So what do you suggest?" If you are not asking that question and instead asking "So, what's your point?" I would encourage you to apply for the next available youth ministry job opening and see how you like it...
Sorry, back on task-
Here is what I suggest: Church, it's time to wake up and start acting like the Church. Uh huh... So can you be a little less specific? Here are Paul's words to Titus:
"You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them a good example by doing what is good.
Paul is very clear that this is not a one-man operation. The conventional model of youth ministry is a "para-church club" model built in the 1950's I want to work in a "Church" model built in the first century. The trouble is Christians need to take time out of their overloaded schedules and spend it with a learner. Maybe the learners are your own children, if they are grown then find a teen that needs a friend, I guarantee they are out there!
The trouble is the ratio-
In the conventional model the ratio of teens to teachers is probably 15-20 to 1. Research proves that people cannot maintain healthy, growing relationships with more than six people. So who are your six? (sounds like a cell phone commercial!) I hope one is your spouse, one is your own mentor, got kids? How many spots are left? If you are thinking "well, between my wife, kids and mentor I only have two spots left!" Welcome to my world. The difference being if you are not engaged in conventional youth ministry no one is expecting any more from you. I have one wife, three kids, one mentor and room for only one more HEALTHY relationship and 15-20 teens looking to get into that spot. Your scenario is probably not much different than mine and if the whole Church would take the chance to fill those one or two spots with a young person just imagine what the Church would look like!

Give Thanks With a Grateful Heart

So here we are again, zero hour before another Thanksgiving. My boys got to watch "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" last night as well as the world premier of "He's a Bully Charlie Brown" Seeing as how they are cartoon characters and not real people I feel that I can say this with all the honesty that is in me: I HATE Peppermint Patty. *whew* I feel better now...

I have been reminded this past week that Thanksgiving is not just about giving thanks for our stuff. While there is nothing inherently evil with the "stuff" itself, we can all too easily be overwhelmed by the pursuit of the stuff. I think a healthier focus is not being thankful just for the "stuff" but being thankful to the One who gave us the "stuff" to begin with.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows." -James 1:17

The Passing of a Legend

My wife and I found out last night that one of our music teachers from school, June Sawiki, lost her battle with Lou Gherig's disease this week.
I can honestly say that I don't know how to react. I want to just run home but I don't know what I would do once I got there. Her funeral is on Friday but I have a 30 Hour Famine lock-in planned for that day and I don't have the staff to just leave that event up to them. As I was sitting on the couch at lunchtime today Daniel asked me "What's wrong Daddy?" and all I could tell him was that one of Daddy's teachers is gone and I can't go say goodbye.

A Different Perspective

This weekend was very eye-opening for me. Our Pastor was away so one of our elders got the chance to preach. He is a former Pastor who drives over an hour to come to church here! When I first heard the topic of Pastor John's sermon I was pretty excited. (You're probably thinking "who gets excited about sermons?") "Combatting Complaining" was the title. My thought was "Go get 'em Tiger!" The reality of the thing was that the tiger turned on me. I told Pastor John afterwards that he, in my opinion, was supposed to be preaching to the rest of the people not to me! I say that only half joking because reality lies at the bottom of that joke. Have I so deceived myself into thinking that how I am approaching the problems we are facing in our situation now is the right and only way and everyone else involved is wrong?!? When did I become right all the time all of a sudden? Just when I thought Pastor John was going to nail the nay-sayers the whole thing turned on me. I have been complaining about how things have gone down and decisions others have made all the while forgetting that God is in control and His will is going to be done whether or not I approve. I am responsible before God for ME and that's it. I will not have to answer for anyone else's decisions especially those in authority over me. I will be responsible for what I have done, thought and taught to others because I am a teacher but I will never have to answer for anyone else's mistakes or fears or sins. I am responsible for my reaction to others mistakes and fears and sins and this is where my sword needs sharpening.

I've never really been much of a writer, and when I started this blog my wife and I joked that when it was finished we could have it published and retire. If I had the freedom to write all that I have felt and experienced in the past two years, I'm not sure if anyone would buy the book or if they did, I'm not sure that any who read it would have ever advised me to leave the machine shop...
Don't get me wrong, I am not struggling with my sense of calling from God. I have been reminded this week that a call from God starts with a call to God. The call to God has been clear for most of my life, although I admit there were many long seasons where I ignored it. The call from God into ministry is no less clear but the direction of that call has become cloudy, like looking across a field through the fog to what seems like it might be the barn but could equally be my imagination. I know that something is there but I am no longer sure that it is what I thought it was when I started out.
Perhaps this sensation could be attributed to "itchy feet" a condition that has seemed to creep into my life after two and half years at a particular job without fail. It was this condition that caused me to leave Grover Gundrilling and pursue greener pastures. Those pastures turned out to be pastures of spinach. (Need I say more?) However I have learned that what I do is no longer "just a job." Not to say that anyone else's occupation is trivial or less important but in this vocation it is much more complicated than just telling your boss that you are sick of the way things are done around here. The sense of making a change is just more difficult. I guess I should be happy that there is opportunity for things to change at all. I suppose, however, that then opportunities to exercise my itchy feet didn't exactly seek me out. Such is not the case now. Even as I type this Campus Crusade for Christ called me to offer me the chance to teach Youth Ministry in Belaruse. I have no idea where Belaruse is. I can't get over how in the past two years itchy foot powder salesman have knocked on my door. Is it from the Lord? I have no idea. I can't tell if the enemy is trying to distract me from the calling of God with offers that are seemingly more attractive or if the Lord is truly offering me better opportunities for His service. I have to be honest and say that I never considered this as part of the equation.
When I turned down my first official "call" to a church I knew that the call was from the church and not necessarily from the Lord mostly because my wife said if I answered the call I would answer it alone. I often wondered in the days following if I would ever be called again because I had turned down that opportunity. Obviously this was not the case because here I am now wondering what to do next.
My passion is for the Church capitol "C." I want nothing more than for the Church to be the Church God designed. I want people to hear and respond to the Gospel and when the church functions according to God's design people do and they are discipled, taught and sent out to continue the work of the Lord through the Church.

All I know is this: I can't fulfill that passion like this.
Maybe "can't" isn't the right word. I just struggle seeing that happen here, not like this.