Concrete Flavored Jell-O

As I have stated in earlier posts, I am a goal oriented person. I like to think that the Lord is starting to form a vision for ministry for me, a vision that is different from anything I have thought before but isn't neccesarily something that has never been done before. I think that the Church that Jesus had in mind was a lot less complicated than we have made it. A quick look around the world to see believers gathered under a shade tree in Africa to worship their Lord with all they have tells me that "church" can be done differently. Church being "done" at all is perhaps our biggest problem. The Church being the Church is a better goal but one fraught with confusion. We have build models for successful ministry in which thousands upon thousands attend our services and give to our budgets but look at the Church that Jesus built- It met in homes and broke bread and ate together, it met in the temple courts to praise Him until the persecution came. It was a personal movement. The Gospel moved from person to person, that's where it is the most effective. The vision God is building in my heart right now is as concrete as Jell-O but here is a snapshot: Small, mobile, and personal.

Samuel Has Come!!!

SSK was born on Friday at 5:03pm 8lbs, 13oz, 20in long. Sam and Mumma are doing great and we all were able to attend Sunday's service together!

So here's the thing about goals...

I am a goal oriented person. I am also a lazy perfectionist. This is like the dark side and light side of the force swirled together to make a mucky mixture of not quite black, not quite white, but not exactly grey either.
Maybe some definition of terms would be helpful.
Goal oriented- With a goal in mind decisions made fall under a defined scope- if an option leads you toward the goal- do it, if it moves you away from the goal- don't. Simple right?
Lazy Perfectionist. If I can't get it right the first time, I'm too lazy to bother to continue trying. Moving on...

Old Goal
For many years my goal was to be in "full-time youth ministry." That phrase in itself is kind of cryptic mostly because if you are involved in youth ministry at all you are in it full-time whether you like it or not. It's just not a punch the clock and go home type of thing. Anyway, more specifically I wanted to be in PAID ministry, where I wouldn't have to be in a machine shop anymore but could focus my efforts entirely on youth ministry. Ok, so I'm there now. Goal achieved. I have been in this ministry post for almost 2 1/2 years. Scary. So herein lies the problem, my original goal was in front of me for a long time and now I found myself goal-less for quite a while. The good news is, I have a new goal, the bad news is it's going to be a lot harder than accomplishing my former goal.
New Goal
So here it is: Help Build a Healthy Church.
I say help because Jesus said He was going to build His Church, so it's not my job to build the Church but encourage the Church to be what He had already designed. This is not an easy task and troubling for me in my current position. Being the Youth Pastor I am subject to the "powers that be" and though the "powers that be" would not disagree that building a healthy Church is a good idea, I really mean it and am willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I believe that the idea of a healthy Church gets a lot of lip service in this context but hard decisions need to be made that the "PTB" aren't willing to make.
So here goes the decision making paradigm: If every decision is made with the goal in mind and whether or not said decision moves us toward or away from the goal how do I go about striving towards the goal? It has been an almost constant struggle for me over the past few months whether or not the Lord wants me to stay in this particular context, CBC.
There are two main issues I can see that are keeping us from the goal of building a healthy Church: #1 the "PTB" #2 the size of the congregation. I'm not sure if these are real obstacles or imaginary ones but either the Church needs to get past them, I need to get over them, or I need to leave.
The problem with the "PTB" is that, well, the list is long and I think I have already outlined the major issue. This obstacle is very real.
The problem of the size of the congregation may be the imaginary obstacle. Authentic community is key to developing a healthy Church. At present our group is spread too thin to connect with one another. The saying "if the devil can't slow you down he'll speed you up" is spot on in this context. We are racing towards nothing at this point but frustration and fragmentation. I think this obstacle, imaginary or not, is not insurmountable but there is going to have to be some serious thought put into a strategy to get beyond it. The thought of the church context my wife grew up in is getting more and more attractive in my mind and can be summed up in one word: "tiny." The congregation of 40-60 stands a much better chance of truly connecting in Christ centered community than the congregation of 200. It's not impossible but it's a lot bigger than me.

Think, Thank, Thunk...

Ok so for the last few weeks I have been racking my brain with these thoughts of a YM rethink and after going to the National Youth Workers Convention I am like a snow-globe that has been seriously shaken up! I am still waiting for all of the flakes to settle into place but one thing I can say for sure, they are not settling back into the same old places. I have been challenged to, among other things, to throw my dream of Youth Ministry up on the alter and kill it to see if I truly love and trust God more than I trust my dreams and ambitions. I also learned that I am not the only one thinking these things about changing the way we "do" ministry, in fact I am a little behind in the thought process. Nevertheless things have to change and they started last night. Middle School Youth Group met last night, all one of them, and the Spirit led me to do something a little different. Our lesson plan centered on the martyrdom of Stephen, the first Christian martyr and after listening to Acts 7 from "The Bible Experience," a dramatic reading of the New Testament, I had the student and student leader write down the five things in their lives which were most important to them. I then asked them which thing on their list would they be least likely to die for, in other words which thing would they be least willing to trade their life to defend, then I asked them to tear that item off their list and throw it away. Then I asked for the next one, and the next one until there was only one left. I then asked them if they were truly willing to die for Christ if they would be willing to be a little uncomfortable for His Church. With a little hesitation they said the would be, not really knowing what I had in mind. I explained to them that the church had done a terrific job compartmentalizing itself into neat little groups that had little in common apart from a relationship with Christ and for the sake of community within the Church we were going to go into the church building and sit down with the prayer groups in prayer meeting and pray with and for them, so we did. It was awesome. They were not afraid to pray with the adults and I know they adults, including me, were encouraged by their presence and prayers.

I guess the biggest lesson I learned is that there can no longer be a "big church" and a "youth group" anymore there is only one Church capitol "C."